Giggle: This Guy Needs a Job!
Last month when That Guy surprised This Guy with the news that they are brothers, This Guy’s life changed for the worse. He was happy drawing his unemployment check. And now he is job searching by the scruff of his neck. Meanwhile Chef Shambles needs help, but he wants nothing to do with These Guys!

View All Toons at Culinary Cartoons

Gab: Defective Dishwasher & Safe Soap
Maybe I should hire a human dishwasher like Chef Shambles? My Cove dishwasher just told me to “Call service.” I really don’t appreciate being told what to do by a dishwasher. And if it is going to boss me, perhaps a little fair warning would be appreciated. Or better yet, why don’t you call your own **** service? But should we repair a dishwasher that is designed to last 20 years or just get a new one. Given Cove is made by Sub Zero and Wolf, no other dishwasher is going to match… A week later repairman says he has never seen a Cove need this motor, so must have been defective. Same response I heard about the Wolf fans in my double ovens. If I had it to do again, I would not buy these brands.

At least he did not flip out over detergent. There is an ad on television of the same scene that played out in my kitchen recently. The repair man goes off at the owners for not using a certain brand of dishwasher detergent. But the brand contains harsh chemicals that might be left on the plates. Our guy flipped out that I was using a safer product. In fact, he was obsessed with my dishwasher. Always looked at the dishwasher and under when he was here to repair fridge or oven and always freaked out if we did not use his recommended brand.

Meanwhile we must wash our own dishes, which means I give up cooking for the time being. And going without a dishwasher had to happen in the middle of a home remodel. So, now we have no washer or dryer now either. Perhaps this is the time to reconsider dishwasher and washing machine cleaning products. I have never been comfortable with the pods in plastic. Why add more plastic to heat up in the cleaning process? But where to start… after researching I choose Branch Basics as a solution for dishwasher detergent, washing detergent, and much more. They offer a Starter Kit in glass bottles, rather than plastic, which replaces all my cleaners, including countertops, grout, dishwasher, washing machine, and hand soap. website will change your life for the better! They even offer a course: “Toss The Toxins.” And don’t miss Founders Faves where they share other non-toxic brands of clothing, personal care, make up and more…

The big day comes. The appliance repairman replaces the part and says we are good to go. After he leaves, I put two glasses into the dishwasher and close the door, but do not turn it on… Just like before it turns itself on and won’t turn off when I push cancel. And it flashes “Call service” again. SCREAM! We call repairman, and he says to unplug it until he can get here tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and he must call Subzero for assistance. Now they want to sell me a motherboard. No way! He gets it running but does not know if it will continue to work. So, he will call us tomorrow. Meanwhile, I ask him what dishwasher to buy, and he says, Bosch.

Gastro: Paper Plates & Pimento Cheese
While waiting on the dishwasher part, I throw in the dishtowel and eat humble pie… Paper Plates. Previously not allowed in this house, even home tailgating boasts collectable football plates. There is no good choice when it comes to paper ones. The recycled ones use harsh chemicals to sanitize them. And I am not a proponent of recycling. Some things do not need to be recycled, including plastics that are even worse as a recycled clothing, etc.

For two weeks now, homemade sandwiches made with scrumptious and healthy sourdough from Birmingham Breadworks have replaced hot meals, including my (famous to my family) pimento cheese.

View Recipe at Clean Cooking

Sandwiches need chips and pickles: José Andrés Potato Chips and Maison Marc Cornichons Fins. To make the chips, Chip-master Rafael del Rosal only uses three ingredients: Spanish “Agria” potatoes, a custom blend of extra virgin olive oil from Andalucía, and pink salt from the foothills of the Himalayas in these slow-fried for extra crunch. And the Bornibus Gherkins are hand-harvested and jarred the same day, preserving their signature crunch. Marinated in vinegar, mustard seeds, peppercorns, tarragon, and spices, they deliver a sharp, tangy bite with an herby finish. No citric acid!

And as always, I do not profit in any way from my recommendations for products.
- Jan Walsh

Share Birmingham Foodies

Giggles: Meet This Guy
Opposites in every way, nothing bad ever happens to That Guy and everything bad happens to This Guy. If This Guy thought he had it bad before now, he has no idea what is coming. And it all starts with a fruit basket and a dog bite.

View all Culinary Cartoons

Gab: Missing & Lying Labels
Many stores do not put Apeel labels on fruit that is coated with it. So, This Guy will never know if his fruit is safe or not. We have both missing labels and lying labels. Avocado oils and products supposedly made with avocado oils are laced with seed oils, including the mayo I have in my own fridge. A 2026 UC Davis study revealed that 89 percent of tested commercial products labeled as containing 100 percent avocado oil (including chips, salad dressings, and mayonnaise) were adulterated or diluted with cheaper oils like soybean, canola, or sunflower oil. Of 54 packaged foods tested 48 failed the testing, including 93 percent of chips, 71 percent of mayonnaise, and 100 percent of salad dressings. I rarely eat chips and only if they are made with olive oil. Unable to find salad dressings without seed oils I have also been making homemade salad dressings for many years. But now I must make my own mayo?

Relating to Howard Beale in the Network movie from the 1970s… “I am mad as hell, and I am not going to take it anymore!” I have been avoiding and encouraging my readers to avoid seed oils, and to read every label now for years, only to learn that I have been duped into eating contaminated mayonnaise that will now be in my cells for six years, disrupting cell energy production in my mitochondria. I am furious.

Gastro: Homemade Mayo
Back in the 1970s, my Home Economics teacher, Mrs. Lloyd had us students make our own mayonnaise. I thought it was crazy to make mayonnaise when you could buy it in a jar. I now see her wisdom. And I am making my own mayonnaise. Where to start? Today recipes in food magazines, cookbooks, and websites use seed oils. So, I have started collecting old cookbooks before seed oils were invented. And I found a great recipe, “Mayonnaise Dressing” in an old cookbook, The Southern Cookbook of Fine Old Recipes. Published in 1935, the recipe calls for olive oil. - Jan Walsh

View Recipe at Clean Cooking

Subscribe now

Share

Giggles: Throwing Dust in Neighbors’ Eyes

That Guy is done with supermarket and farmers market tomatoes. He gave up on store bought tomatoes years ago. Their out of state tomatoes are hard as a rock, like in that old Tomatoland book he read. So, he began buying from a couple of trusted local growers at the local farmers market until now. They both began to CHILL their tomatoes before bringing them to market. TG’s grandfathers were farmers, and both taught him, “Never chill a tomato.” He knows how to grow heirloom tomatoes from heirloom seeds. But he is too lazy and entitled. So, he leads his neighbors up his garden path and bamboozles them into growing it as a “community garden.” They do all the work. Deary does all the cooking. And TG does all the eating!

View all “That Guy!” toons at Culinary Cartoons

Gab: Community or Solo Garden?

I did help grow a family garden once. And I see why families and communities grow gardens together. Because it is too much work for one person, even if all goes fairly well. I recently learned this lesson again when a friend (and reader) of mine, Lindsey Ruffino gave up buying and wanted to grow her own garden. It was not her first garden but it had been years.

When Lindsey does something, she does it right and gives it her all. So, I knew it would be a great summer Birmingham Foodies Gab and Clean Cooking feature. She bought a greenhouse and germinated all the plants from seeds. She sent me video updates of her butter beans, peas, basil, lettuces, tomatoes, jalapenos, okra, squash and onions growing in the greenhouse and videos later of them in the garden. Two days before my scheduled garden visit and interview, heavy rains caused a flood in Vestavia. And just like that her garden was washed away! I just checked in on her to see if she will ever grow another garden. And she is already building it back. And we will reschedule her garden feature later.

Gastro: Garden Favorite - Heirloom Tomatoes

I am a tomato snob. I admit it. If I had to choose one fruit that I could have in season—all the time—it would be tomatoes. And it would be heirloom tomatoes of all shapes, sizes, colors, and flavors.

Like That Guy, I was taught by my grandfathers, who were farmers, “Never chill a tomato.” I never have and never will. And I taught my sons, “Never chill a tomato!” Note the exclamation. I would rather find a dead body on the kitchen floor than a tomato in the fridge. So, I made up a new rule to pass down. “If you cut the tomato, you eat the (whole) tomato.”

Chilling a tomato below 50°F stops the ripening, breaks down cell walls and deactivates the enzymes in tomatoes that produce the flavor compounds. Rather than juicy the tomatoes turn mealy. Rather than flavorful, they turn tasteless. And you cannot reverse this process by taking them out of the fridge. Store them at room temperature. I finish ripening in my kitchen window in direct sunlight. Once they fully ripen, I hide them in kitchen drawers away from the light. Stem-side up or down? Stem side down for unripe and stem side up for ripe tomatoes, which reduces exposure to bacteria and mold. If there ever came a time that I can’t eat all the fully ripe tomatoes, rather than chilling I would make soups, stews, or tomato sauce.

How can some tomatoes look so red and taste so awful? The same mutation that makes tomatoes red also ruins a tomato’s historic taste and texture. Heirloom tomatoes do not have the genetic mutation that gives tomatoes a uniform red color. And unlike the seeds of hybridized plants, Heirloom seeds “breed true.” Both sides of an heirloom variety’s DNA are derived from a stable cultivar, whereas hybridized seeds combine different cultivars. So unlike thick skinned, mealy grocery store tomatoes, heirloom skins are thin, bruise and crack easily, and shelf life is shorter.

Unfortunately, previously chilled tomatoes, including heirlooms, are sold to unsuspecting buyers even at farmers markets. Don’t trust the “Don’t Touch” signs. Sorry, but I want to feel it before I buy it. I especially want to feel the temperature. Even if it is not cold, it might have warmed on the way or while on display. I also look for small surface indentions in the skin, especially around the stem. Instead, the skin should be smooth, taunt skin. Early chilling before ripening is also evident in uneven ripening with uneven coloring. Thus, I have also learned to ask if the tomatoes have been chilled below 50 degrees.

Like animals, plants can also become extinct. Fortunately, heirloom seeds can be collected. And because heirloom tomatoes self-pollinate, the plants grown from these seeds will continue to show traits of the original seed. Thus, heirloom varieties have been in cultivation for generations, with each generation saving and passing down seeds to the next generation.

All your heirloom tomatoes need are sea salt and ground black pepper. But they can be an important part of many recipes, such as Clean Cooking’s Crab & Shrimp Louie Salad. Get Recipe - Jan Walsh

Share

Giggle: Duck Daddy
That Guy adopted three magpie ducks, “Clark” and two females. But Clark needs more females so he is mean and territorial, the boss of the yard and now the neighborhood. Plus, he is teaching the females his menacing ways. So, the ducks are aggressively biting and bruising everyone including, Chef Showy who has visions of Clark Confit! Meanwhile That Guy is enjoying duck eggs three ways.

Culinary Cartoons

Gab: Duck Eggs vs. Chicken Eggs
Duck eggs are more nutrient-dense, containing higher concentrations of Omega-3 fatty acids, iron, folate, and Vitamin B12. They are generally 50 percent larger than chicken eggs, with a richer, larger yolk and higher fat content. Duck eggs also have thicker membrane and more durable shells, which keep the eggs fresher longer than hen eggs. The higher fat and lower water content in duck eggs yield fluffier baked goods. And the protein structures in duck eggs are different from those in chicken eggs. Thus, people with chicken egg allergies can often safely eat duck eggs, and vice versa. 

Gourmet: Clark Confit
From my archives, Chef Tom Saab shares his recipe and technique for making a classic duck confit. It is a three-day process that is worth the wait and the effort.  

View Recipe & Cooking Demo at Clean Cooking

Giggle: TG’s Tallow Truck
That Guy has a new venture! He is going to sell tallow fried chicken and biscuits on his new food truck. But he has no plans to cook them. Instead, he orders all he can get from Chef Sucker and ruins lunch for everyone, but himself.

View All That Guy toons at Culinary Cartoons

Gab: Tallow Fried Chicken and Biscuits
My apologies for being late in the month publishing May’s Funnies and Foodies! After working through tennis elbow, for months, my doc said no more and restricted typing. Now after weeks of physical therapy, it is much better.

A special thank you to Dyron’s executive chef, Chris Melville as the debut of
Clean Cooking’s “Clean Chats.” Whereas I am on a mission to get home cooks and restaurant chefs to clean up their act, he already has and is a pioneer in the “Cean Eats” movement not just locally but also nationally. What a resource!

View Clean Chats with Chef Melville

Chef Melville and I decide not to delve too deep into the research on seed oils and American flours, to encourage you to do your own research. And you will learn that it takes 18 months to two years for seed oils to clear the body, specifically linoleic acid. So, shop clean by making a U-turn at the vegetable oil aisle and purchase tallow and coconut oil instead. Chef Melville uses both in Dyron’s kitchen and specifically tallow for frying chicken.

Also research American made flours. Here in the USA, white flour is commonly stripped of its natural nutrients during milling, resulting in a refined carbohydrate. Manufacturers “enrich” it by adding synthetic vitamins and iron. This process lacks fiber and is linked to blood sugar spikes and potential digestive sensitivities. Basically, they strip away the good stuff and replace it (labeled fortified or enriched) with synthetics. At Dyron’s Chef Melville cooks clean with unfortified and unenriched, Central Milling Organic Wheat Flour in both the biscuits and coating the chicken.

Gourmet: May Clean Recipes

Clean Fried Chicken Recipe

Clean Buttermilk Biscuits

Share Birmingham Foodies

Giggle:
That Guy and Deary are touring The White House when he sees a soda headed to The Oval Office. To save Trump and support MAHA he grabs the soda, spilling it all over the floor. Meanwhile Trump is pushing the soda button again. And RFK, Jr. tries to bring him water and a water button.

View All Toons

Gab:
I stopped drinking sodas 25 years ago. It was not easy to break a habit that I’d had for my whole life. As a small child, living on my grandparents’ farm in Blount County, there were not sodas in the house. We drank water from the well and iced tea made of it, and raw milk from our cows. Yet once a week the peddler would drive up the country road and stop at the end of the long, dirt driveway. There I stood with my nickel and dime for a Zero candy bar and a bottle of Coca Cola. Not understanding science, I thought if I poured my coke on ice, it made twice as much. So, I would eat half my candy bar and drink half my Coke. And I would save the other for dessert after supper.

After moving off the farm to Oneonta at age seven, I had easier access to the sodas I craved. My mother’s house always had soda in the pantry. And after school when I arrived at her office. Her secretary, Pauline always had a Dr. Pepper on her desk. I thought she was weird for drinking Dr. Pepper when she could have a coke. Every afternoon I grabbed change from the drawer and walked across the street to the Hitt’s store where sodas were displayed in a cooler, alongside the candy bars and potato chips at the counter. As a teen I made the switch to Dr. Pepper, due to Pauline’s influence. I was the only one drinking it. But soon my peers tried it as did my aunt, who became addicted to it too. Later most of us switched to Diet Dr. Pepper. And I came back to the diet version of Coke because it was always around the house.

And as an adult in 1985 hearing news that Coke was changing its 99-year-old recipe to a sweeter version, New Coke, I bought out The Pig of all the Coke they had. I was not the only one unhappy with this new soda. There was public backlash and even protests. This genius marketing idea only lasted 79 days before the original formula was brought back. And I made it through this dry period with my stash of Coke. Ninety-nine years earlier, in 1886, the original Coca-Cola contained a small amount of cocaine, derived from coca leaves and caffeine from kola nuts, acting as a stimulant. The cocaine was removed in the early 1900s.

Today, I am shocked seeing people still drinking sodas. For years the CDC has attributed sugary drinks to many health problems: weight gain, obesity, type 2 diabetes, heart disease, cavities, and gout, a type of arthritis. Even worse are sodas with corn syrup rather than cane sugar. These sodas are sold in the U.S., which is why some people drink sodas from Mexico. More recently in a March 2026 study, Ohio State discovered a new danger of sodas, liver disease. It found that sodas may be as damaging to the liver as alcohol. If I must choose Champagne or soda, there is no contest.

If you think diet sodas are the solution, I did too. In the 1990s as a teacher, Diet Cokes were always on my desk. When I connected the dots of not being able to fall asleep at night with the large diet soda I had during my 1:00 break, I stopped drinking in the afternoons. It was after I moved and changed careers that I began to realize these diet drinks were not helping any diet I tried. Cleveland Clinic reports that diet sodas trick the brain’s sweet sensing reward center, making you crave sugar. And the artificial sweeteners are addictive, as is sugar. This is not health advice. Do your own research.

Gastro:
After drinking sodas all my life, the carbonation was what I miss the most. Follow my lead in ditching sodas and diet sodas with these tips. And get my recipe for Jan’s Fruit Fizzy.

· Drink sparkling water but avoid waters with citric acid.

· Add fruit juice or muddled fruit to sparkling water.

· Add citrus juices to sparkling water.

· Add fruit to sparkling water.

· Add cucumber to sparkling water.

· Drink Kombucha instead.

· Drink coconut water.

· Find alternative for caffeine.

I developed a sparkling drink that substitutes well for soda and is good for your kidneys and eyes. View Cherry On Top recipe at Clean Cooking.

Share

Subscribe now

Giggle: Trigger Happy

That Guy goes fishing… with guns! And he blames the trigger fish for their name and trigger like fin. Dearie is ready to catch his kill. Other fishermen are ducking for cover. And he is having the time of his life playing cowboy.

View all “That Guy!” toons at Culinary Cartoons.

Gab: Clean Catch

The Gulf of America is a great place to fish. And trigger fish season started March 1. If you can’t get to the coast this spring, find trigger fish and other Gulf fish in local markets and at local restaurants. Avoid farmed fish and salmon because salmon are now genetically modified. So even if the salmon is wild caught it could be GMO.

Seafood is an important part of the new food pyramid, which focuses on high-quality, nutrient-dense protein from both animal and plant sources, along with healthy fats from whole foods, such as eggs, seafood, meats, full-fat dairy, nuts, seeds, olives, and avocados. The new goal is 1.2 to 1.6 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight per day. Gulf triggerfish is high in protein. This lean white fish has approximately 20–21 grams of protein per 100-gram serving and zero carbs.

Gourmet: Chef’s Secrets

For March Clean Cooking continues its Chef’s Secrets series, with recipes from my archives. Most months will feature an archived chef’s recipe although some months it will be a new home cook’s recipe.

Home cooks are often intimidated by cooking fresh fish and seafood. We question if the price is worth the risk of cooking it ourselves. So this month, I turn the page back in time to a place, Chez Fonfon, where I learned from Birmingham’s most celebrated chef, Frank Stitt how to cook Fish Paillard. Fish paillard is a classic French dish featuring thinly sliced, lightly pounded, and quickly cooked fish. The fish is typically served with light, fresh garnishes like citrus, herbs, or salad. Anyone can cook this fish!

Share

Giggle:

Beef is great again! And That Guy is here for it. Actually he never stopped eating steak… But now wants you to butcher your own and pay him for the experience. Meanwhile he enjoys a steak dinner while watching the chaos his new venture created.

View all “That Guy!” toons at CulinaryCartoons.com

Gab:

Not all beef is great again. There’s lab grown, cultured meat, fake steaks made with meat glue, and U.S. beef processing market with significant foreign ownership. Four corporations: Tyson Foods and Cargill, along with Brazil based JBS and National Beef, these four corporations own 80-85 percent of the U.S. beef processing.

Know Thy Butcher, such as at your local Piggly Wiggly.

Know Thy Rancher, such as Joyce Farms.

Gastro:

This previously “Goods” section evolves to Gastro for 2026! In addition to sharing clean and healthy foods here, we will now feature and share a Clean Recipe each month from CleanCooking.com. At times Gastro and Clean Cooking will feature chef recipes from my archives of 20 years of cooking demos I made in restaurant kitchens. And we debut with Chef Randall Baldwin cooking a bone in steak with beef tallow in a cast iron skillet!

Get Recipe for Bone-In Strip: Two Ways at Clean Cooking.

Funnies & Foodies January 2026

By Jan Walsh

Giggle: Jail Birds

That Guy frees the caged chickens so they can be pasture raised. Problem is with so many chicken houses, there is no pasture. Soon nearby farms will have more yard birds they can handle.

Culinary Cartoons

Gab: CleanCooking.com launched January 1, 2026!

My New Year’s Resolution? Shop Clean. Cook Clean. Eat Clean.

I have been writing about organic living for 15 years. Inspired by my readers, subscribers, and followers’ interest in and need for information on clean eating, I am launching Clean Cooking, to help you purge your pantry and cook clean for the new year. It is a free resource for both visitors and subscribers. Here they can follow its research, tap into its resources, and replicate Clean Recipes. Learn what products to toss and which ones to purchase, how to cook without GMOs, seed oils, and other artificial ingredients, while experiencing the joy of eating healthy every day. Also, the site will soon have an online store making it easier to shop clean. Sign up on the homepage for Clean Cooking’s monthly newsletter, Clean Feast!

Goods: Farm Eggs

Which eggs do you buy? With so many descriptors on the labels, you might be fooled into thinking you are buying clean, Non-GMO eggs when you purchase eggs with the following labels: all natural, farm fresh, no hormones, vegetarian diet, omega-3, cage-free, and free-range.

I only buy my eggs from local farmers, whom I know have pastured raised their hens and not fed them GMO feed. In spring and summer months it is easy to find these eggs at local farmers markets. Yet in winter the hens stop laying. These local farm eggs are also far more nutritious than commercially raised eggs. However, the majority of eggs in the U.S. come from chickens raised with other chickens in battery cages. Inside these cages housed with other chickens, each chicken has no more space than its body fills. The cages are stacked in long rows in warehouse-sized barns. With no access allowed outside their cages or to the outdoors for sunlight and air, these birds are so cramped that they cannot even spread their wings. And most often these chickens are fed a mixture of GMO corn and feed made from animal by products.

You are what your egg’s chicken eats. They should be eating protein. Thus “vegetarian diet” should make you avoid the eggs rather than purchase them because chickens are not vegetarian. They are omnivores that would naturally get most of their protein from worms, grasshoppers, and other insects if they were raised in the wild. Hens fed a vegetarian diet are likely eating GMO corn fortified with amino acids. And the Omega-3 label most often means the hens’ corn feed is supplemented with some flaxseed.

Get my Farm Egg Recipes for Organic Bacon Quiche and Organic French Toast at Clean Cooking’s Clean Recipes.

Funnies & Foodies December 2025

Giggle: Coffee Chain Closes
That Guy is glad to see it go! He does not like their tarry tasting rocket fuel. He, Dearie, and Hooligan a counter picket to Teary’s protest of the closing. That Guy’s neighborhood needs a local coffee shop as does mine.

Visit Culinary Cartoons for all “That Guy” toons!

Gab: Criers Gona Cry
This month’s toon was inspired by the closing of a corporate coffee chain’s store in my neighborhood. The company announced hundreds of closings with only a day’s notice. It was no loss to most of us because we never entered or drove through it.

Upon the announcement, a woman from my community went online to vent. She wanted neighbors to join her in making signs to picket the closing. The replies were worth the read as most of us were puzzled by her passion for a corporate chain that obviously cared nothing about our neighborhood.

Back in the day when we had a locally owned one, we frequented it often and have great memories there. My favorite is I was there for a meeting with a magazine editor when my son, Jordan called to tell me he passed the Alabama State Bar!

Goods: Tossing the Coffeemaker
In last month’s toon, That Guy tossed his coffeemaker and his electric frother, along with many other microplastic producing products. I recently did the same. I let go of my coffeemaker and electric frother to make safer, plastic free coffee. I purchased Chemex Pour-Over Glass Coffeemaker in two sizes, a smaller one for when it is just Kev and I and a larger one for when company comes. The aromas of Red Cat’s Alabama Audubon Blend are incredible as I ”bloom” the grounds by pouring just enough water to saturate them. Next, I wait 30 seconds and then slowly pour the remaining water over the coffee. Brew time is four to five minutes. Alabama Audubon Blend is a bird friendly blend of coffee. With permission from Alabama Audubon, every bag of this blend contributes support to the organization.

For the pour over, I purchased a Michael Aram teapot for boiling the water from my Sans Countertop Reverse Osmosis Water Filtration System. And I warm and froth our cream by hand in my Mauviel Copper Sugar Pot. After coffee the pots for coffee and creamer go in the dishwasher. And my Arman pot remains on the stove. It is much prettier to look at than a big coffeemaker. And my island is not filled with electrics and their noisiness. Making and drinking coffee in the morning is now a quiet, sustainable ritual. And I sip Alabama Audubon Blend as I watch the winter birds outside. The only thing missing is a Red Cat in my neighborhood.

Funnies and Foodies November 2025

By Jan Walsh

Giggle: Sucker Sale
That Guy is cashing out of his polyester pants, with plans to purchase a new wardrobe made of natural and organic fabrics. But he does not stop there! He is also tossing everything else toxic that he can get his hands “off” and selling to unsuspecting sheeple. As usual Dearie had no clue this was coming and is about to lose the shirt off her back! And Hooligan can’t let go of his plastic toys and anyone who buys them. So he is giving it his all, from teeth to tail to stop them.

View All Culinary Cartoons

Gab: Chemical Clothing
In the 1980s I purchased flame retardant pajamas for my babies. My God. What was I thinking? They were not firemen. I was exposing them to the dangers of flame-retardant (FR) clothing. The risks range from skin irritation from chemicals, such as formaldehyde. And when FR materials do burn, they can release toxic gases. This was likely my first purchase of chemical clothing. Today toxic textiles are everywhere!

Natural fibers have been used in the textile industry for more than 5,000 years. Synthetic fibers became more widely used in the last 30 years, currently totaling 60% of textile production. Synthetic clothing releases VOCs (volatile organic compounds), which are a large group of carbon-based chemicals that easily evaporate into the air at room temperature. And synthetic fabrics release microfibers during everyday wear and laundering. Microplastics include three main groups: spheres, fragments, and microfibers. And microfibers, small fibers released from textiles and fibrous materials, are the most problematic. These microfibers are often derived from plastics, such as polyester and nylon, The microfibers can become airborne and inhaled, potentially causing inflammation, oxidative stress, and migration to other tissues. And when your skin is in contact with polyester it absorbs endocrine disrupting chemicals (EDCs), microplastic and toxic chemicals. Some sports bras have 22 times the safe limit of BPA, a chemical compound that is used to make plastics. Microplastics are now found in breast milk.

Connect the dots! Skin is porous, absorbing toxins from clothing as well as feminine products. While searching for a cure for cancer, perhaps we might avoid what is obviously causing it. A study published in October 2025 Environmental Research is the first to attempt at mass screening harmful chemicals in clothing. The research found hundreds of different chemicals in the clothing, including pesticides, flame retardants, and pharmaceuticals.

Goods: Not A Thing To Wear!
Over the past year I have lost three dress sizes, the natural way. No drugs or diets. Just eating more protein and animal fats. Yet my new weight has an unintended consequence of having nothing to wear. Just as I purged my pantry and started over, I am tossing clothes from my closet and shopping for new. But rather than reading food labels this time I am reading clothing labels for where, what, and how.

Where was it made?
I prefer organic, natural textiles, made in the USA, Europe, or Australia. While it is not difficult to find the country of origin on labels if shopping in stores, when shopping online it might say, “Imported” instead. This leaves me to ask AI where various brands are made. It is not always clear. Companies sometimes import the fabric from one country and make it in another. I do not find many organic offerings especially in petites. Eileen Fisher is an exception.

What is it made of?
I am shopping for cotton, linen, leather, silk, wool, and cashmere. It is difficult to find these fabrics, especially in 100 percents. Yet plastic and petrochemical clothes are everywhere! The market is flooded with acrylic, nylon, spandex, elastane, polyester, and (Yikes!) recycled polyester…

How was it made?
I don’t want polyester at all, much less recycled polyester! Recycled polyester (rPET) fibers are often shorter and more fragile than regular polyester, increasing the shedding of microplastics, which are also released into water during laundering, contaminating oceans and the food chain. Harmful chemicals, such as antimony (a catalyst), formaldehyde (a preservative), and phthalates (a plasticizer) can be used during the manufacturing process of recycling polyester. Phthalates and BPA can act as endocrine disruptors, while antimony is toxic. Some studies suggest that recycled polyester may contain higher levels of certain toxic chemicals compared to regular polyester due to the high-temperature recycling process and potential contamination during recycling.

My eyes glaze over reading about this stuff, and writing about it… I long for the days when shopping was fun! I could try it on and if it fit, I was out the door. But they won’t stop making it until we wake up to what we are wearing and stop buying it.

Share

Funnies and Foodies: October 2025

By Jan Walsh

Giggle: Suckers and Losers

Back in That Guy’s 1980s glory days he guzzled sports drinks. After losing games of badminton to his mom, his favorite sports drink was always chilled and ready for him to drink straight from the jug. Ahh! Electrolytes.

But watching his favorite football team go soft, he wonders the cause. Is it the new NIL rules or the concocotion being poured down the players’ throats? Afterall it is not the same drink that made him the man he is today. Regardless, like many fans, he just takes it out on coach.

View All “That Guy” Toons at Culinary Cartoons

Gab: Slacker Drinks

That Guy may be obnoxious, but he is onto something. The sports drinks That Guy drank growing up had a much simpler formula than today’s drinks. They included only five ingredients: water, sugar, salt, potassium, and a natural flavor such as lemon juice. It was good for both winners and losers.

After big food bought out many of the drinks, their recipes devolved into a complex mix of words he cannot pronounce. Sugar was replaced with high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). Stabilizers and artificial ingredients were added. Beyond water and salt, and natural flavors, today’s sports drinks include monopotassium phosphate, modified food starch, glycerol ester of rosin, gum Arabic, artificial flavors, artificial colors including food dyes, and sucrose acetate isobutyrate. Is this stuff good for anyone?

Goods: Do It Himself

That Guy invent his own organic Glory Days Ade! He says that making it is such a workout in itself, so no need to exercise otherwise.

TG’s Glory Days Ade Recipe

Ingredients:

¼ Cup freshly squeezed, organic lime juice

¼ Cup freshly squeezed, organic lemon juice

1 Cup organic coconut water

1 Cup Sans purified water

1 teaspoon organic raw honey

Dash of sea salt

Preparation:
Shake all ingredients together and store in a sealed glass container refrigerator or cooler. Keeps up to one week. Variation: Oranges can be substituted for limes to make an orange flavored drink. That Guy plans to make a barrel and take it down to the locker room for the team!

Share

Giggle: Popcorn Hero

That Guy and Dearie smuggle organic popcorn into the theatre in full costume. Moviegoers are accustomed to overpaying for big ag popcorn cooked in seed oils, laced with human and bee toxic chemicals, covered in fake butter. So many are happy to line up and pay That Guy for organic popcorn salted with Himalayan salt. Meanwhile the theatre attendant sells no popcorn. And front row fans can’t see or hear the movie.

View All “That Guy” Toons at Culinary Cartoons

Gab: Pesticides & Popcorn

Approximately 90% of corn grown in the United States is genetically modified, yet there is currently no GMO popcorn variety on the market yet. But this does not mean that popcorn is not treated with pesticides. To avoid these chemicals, purchase USDA certified organic or to know thy farmer.

According to Center for Food Safety, “79 to 100 percent of corn seed in the U.S. is coated with neonics, and popcorn is no exception.” Approximately 40 insecticides are used as active chemicals on popcorn, including three bee-toxic neonic chemicals: clothianidin, thiamethoxam, and imidacloprid. “Despite the heavy use of seed coatings in agriculture, particularly on corn crops, the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Environmental Protection Agency do not consider seed coatings a pesticide application and therefore do not track their usage, leading to widespread, unmonitored contamination across the U.S.” And these chemicals also spread far beyond the plant coated in them to other crops, soil, and water.

The same big ag popcorn brands sold in movie theatres are likely found in your pantry. From microwavable kernel popcorn (the worst for your health) to bagged corn, the popcorn seed market is dominated by big ag brands. “Orville Redenbacher is ConAgra’s top-selling popcorn brand and is also America’s most recognizable brand. Orville Redenbacher is sold in over 30 movie theater chains—including AMC theaters, the second largest movie theater chain in the country,” Center for Food Safety.

Goods: Pure Popcorn

Recently when my guys headed to the theatre, I gave them a discreet brown bag filled with Lesser Evil’s Pink Salt Organic Popcorn. “If they ask what is in the bag, say, “groceries,” I advised. The popcorn is air popped without seed oils and contains only three ingredients: organic popcorn, extra-virgin coconut oil, and Himalayan pink salt. It most recently passed a quality test of four out of four in July 2025, by Lesser Labs. Lesser Evil also makes eight other organic flavors. Yet the popcorn does come in plastic bags. And as you all know I am at war with plastic. So, at home I prefer to pop my own on the stovetop.

The first time I ever had popcorn, Granny made it for me, and taught me how to sew the popped kernels together, creating a Christmas garland for the tree. This cedar tree was freshly cut on the outskirts of my grandparents’ farm, the day before. PowPaw took me on his tractor to pick out our tree. I stood back and watched as he cut it and hooked it to the tractor. And in his lap, I even helped steer the tractor back home. With memories like these who needs a microplastics producing air popper or microwave popcorn? Not me. When popping corn for our own home theatre, I pop my neighbor, Deborah Stone’s brand. Stone Hollow Farmstead Heirloom Popcorn comes in a variety of heirloom kernels.

Trying the different varieties is fun! Ladyfinger is the smallest pop, from an old open-pollinated variety. It is crumbly, hull free, and tender. Baby White Popcorn is also small and hull free. Its thinner, tender hull is easily digested. Purple Popcorn also pops small, with few hulls, and a nutty flavor. Traditional Yellow #2 Popcorn is medium in size, buttery in flavor, and crunchy in texture. It is the choice for those who want traditional popcorn, such as my family. Kev says it is the one! Red Heirloom Popcorn is a rare kernel that is almost hull free and pops up white. Blue Heirloom also pops white with a sweet flavor. Mushroom Popcorn is neutral in flavor, is the largest pop in a circular shape, such as a mushroom top, thus the name. Jumbo Popcorn requires high heat on the stovetop. It is large with a thin hull, neutral flavor, and pops crisp and tender. A nice choice for making your own caramel corn. Can’t decide? Try Rainbow Popcorn. A mix of heirloom quality popcorn kernels: Red, Blue, Traditional Yellow #2, and Baby White popcorn. And they offer Movie Night Trio or Heirloom Popcorn Gift Box, which make perfect gifts for movie lovers or for yourself. For even more variety, flavored salts and infused oils are also available.

Stovetop popcorn is inexpensive and easy. Another big advantage to stovetop popcorn is I can control the ingredients. I cook my popcorn in a heavy bottomed copper pot. The thick bottom keeps the kernels from burning. In the pot I add approximately one tablespoon of oil or tallow per quarter of a cup of popcorn. For smaller pops, such as Lady Finger I use organic coconut oil, for a light popcorn. And for bigger pops I cook in organic tallow for a savory popcorn. In a separate spouted pan, I melt Banner Butter and sprinkle a first harvest salt: Fleur de Sel from M. Giles Hervy into the butter. This gets the salt evenly distributed as it is poured over the popcorn. I lift the pot, lid and all, off the stove every 30 or so seconds and vigorously shake it to keep kernels from sticking un popped on the bottom. When the kernels slow down their popping and almost stop, I remove the pot from heat. And once the popping stops I carefully remove the lid and pour the salted butter over all or separate some for storing. The unbuttered popcorn also keeps well in non plastic bags. Finally, I divide into individual bowls. And we eat our popcorn warm and buttery.

Football season is also popcorn season. So, it is time to stock up! In addition to their website, Stone Hollow Farmstead offers their popcorns locally at FarmStand by Stone Hollow Farmstead, located at Pepper Place and in Homewood. - Jan Walsh

Photo credit to Jan Walsh’s CleanCooking.com coming January 1, 2026!
Shop Clean. Cook Clean. Eat Clean.

Giggle: Soy boys are fat boys?

That Guy challenges Soy Boy to a virtual arm wrestle, doubling down on his sushi’s carbs, soybean oil, soy sauce, unsafe prep and storage.

View All MAHA Toons

Gab: Think sushi rolls are good for you?  
The typical roll is loaded with carbs (30 to 50 per rohttps://culinarycartoons.ll) and an alarming amount of sodium. And if they are tempura fried, it is likely in soybean oil. To make matters worse, risks with sushi production include unsafe preparation and storage of the main ingredients, such as raw seafood. Food poisoning bacteria grows quickly on raw seafood and other sushi ingredients. Thus, when dining out check the restaurant’s health rating and ask about the freshness of ingredients.

Goods: Coco Aminos & Coconut Oil

In my kitchen, I replaced soy sauce with Big Tree Farms Organic Coco Aminos. It is soy and gluten free. And it includes only three ingredients: organic coconut blossom nectar, water, and Balines Sea Salt. Best of all it tastes delicious, better than soy sauce!

I no longer order sushi rolls or make them at home, too many carbs! But I do make eggrolls and stir fry, teriyaki, and more, for which the amino acids are a perfect soy substitute. I also use them in my marinade for burgers and steaks, and as a sauce for many other dishes. And for frying my eggrolls, I would never use any seed oil including soybean oil. I use organic coconut oil. And for other deep fry dishes, I use tallow. - Jan Walsh

Share

Giggle: That Guy is cleaning his house of plastics.

Just when Dearie is ready to cook lunch, TG wreaks the kitchen. Always over the top, rather than starting small, he tosses it all. Now she is left to clean up his mess and take out this trash.

View All MAHA Toons

Follow That Guy! Instagram Facebook

Gab: Our Plastic World

Its’s worse than you think. Plastics, micro plastics, and nano plastics are everywhere!

You breath them. You eat them. You wear them.

National biomonitoring surveys by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention find some plastic chemicals, including BPA and phthalates, are inside almost everyone in the U.S. They are found in all human tissue, from the brain to testicles, blood, and bodily fluids including semen, salvia, breast milk. And a University of Mexico study found that the brain has 20 times more plastics than other organs.

Plastics are toxic. Micro plastics are worse. And nano plastics are the worst.

Plastic products break down into microplastics. These particles can be as small as one nanometer or as large as five millimeters. contain up to 20,000 plastic chemicals (many you never heard of) and cause many health issues. And even worse are small, invisible nano plastics, found in geo engineered clouds, crops, drinking water, and food. And in all packaged foods, especially fast foods, come another layer of toxicity: phthalates, which are plasticizers. These are chemical substances added to plastic and other materials to make them more flexible, so they mold to desired shape, such as the boxes and wrappings fast foods are served in. Heating food in plastic containers increases phthalate leaching. Even wrapping hot foods in these materials, such as a fast food burger in its packaging, brings increased risk of phthalate leaching. And the more processed the food, such as protein powders, the more plasticizers it likely has. From food production to food packaging, your food is wrecked by plastics before you ever put it in a plastic bag at the grocery store to when its packaging is disposed of.

Drinking water is a big source of plastics, both tap and bottled. A 1-liter plastic bottle of water can contain thousands of nano plastic fragments, small enough to enter the bloodstream and cross protective barriers in the body. And surprisingly, a new French study this month, found glass to be even worse than plastic! Guillaume Duflos, research director at French food safety agency ANSES, led a study to investigate the quantity of microplastics in different types of drinks sold in France and examine the impact of different types of containers. Flat and sparkling water tested at 4.5 particles per liter for glass and 1.6 in plastic. Similarly soft drinks, lemonade, iced tea, and beer in glass bottles had much higher rates of microplastics than the rate detected in plastic bottles and metal cans. How can this be? The particles emerging from the glass samples were the same shape, color, and polymer composition (the same plastic) as the paint on the outside of the caps that seal the glass bottles. Tiny scratches, on the plastic paint on the caps (likely due to friction between the caps when stored before bottling) found their way onto the inside surface of these caps, contaminating the water inside the glass bottles. Wine contained the least microplastics, finding only a few, even in glass bottles with metal caps.

The air in our homes and house dust are filled with plastic particles. And so are our bodies! Smaller size nano plastics are more amenable than microplastics, making it easier for them to enter the human body. According to Consumer Reports, the dangers to human health include increased inflammation, genotoxicity, oxidative stress, apoptosis, and necrosis. And it leads to infertility, obesity, diabetes, prostate cancer, breast cancer, thyroid problems, heart attack, and stroke. The particles have been found throughout the human body, crossing brain and placental barriers. And some microplastic chemicals, such as PFAS, are among the most toxic synthetic substances, linked to cancer, neurotoxicity, hormone disruption, and developmental problems in fetuses and young children.

The future is full of plastics. By 2060 the amount of plastic produced is expected to triple! A large proportion of this increase will be single-use and short-lived plastic products, which today make up 35 and 40 percent of plastic production. And as plastic production increases our health and the health of generations to come will decrease.

Goods: Control What You Can

Our bodies have become dumping grounds for plastics. And plastics do not disintegrate in landfills nor in our bodies. So, we must purge all we can and stop buying this stuff!

I began my plastics purge one year ago and stopped buying plastics whenever possible.

Food
When buying groceries, I do not put fresh food, such as bananas, in those pesky plastic bags at end of counter that never want to open. I also consider packaging on everything I purchase and buy one brand over another based on its container, such as coffee in a metal can verses a plastic bag, and tea in cotton tea bags verses plastic tea bags. I never buy any food that must be microwaved in its plastic container. And I request paper bags at checkout.

At farmers markets, I take my own organic, cotton bags for my organic food and never allow the farmers to put my organic purchases in plastic. Ironically, most of their produce on display is either already packed in plastic containers (you know those square and rectangle ones that are hell to open and don’t fit round or oblong fruit and eggs) or they have “recycled” plastic bags at the ready for me. The few farmers who have their produce in nice, green, cardboard containers will jump over the table should you start to take the produce in the container. Instead, they want to put their organic produce in their previously used plastic bag to take home! They have boxes of them… Most farmers need to rethink their packaging.

Kitchen
Phthalates, microplastics, and nano plastics leach at significantly higher rates under high heat. So, I never put hot food or liquid in plastic or cook food in plastic. I even tossed the microwave! Now popcorn is cooked in a copper skillet over a gas eye on the stove.

I replaced plastic bags with unbleached parchment paper bags and tossed the Tupperware for stainless steel storage. Never had a plastic cutting board, but if you do toss it and get a wooden one. Plastic cutting boards are one of the worst culprits. You are slicing and dicing micro and nano plastics into your food. I also replaced all cookware with any type of coating. I trust none of it. While at it toss your plastic cooking utensils replacing with wood or stainless.

Just when I started buying food in glass and saving the glass bottles and their lids for storage, comes the news (above in “Gab”) that glass is worse than plastic due to the plastic paint on the lids! So, I have gone back a few generations, real old school. I started using those blue Ball Jars with zinc lids that I found in my grandmother’s barn, rather than just displaying them. And I am buying more on Ebay! Also from my grandmother’s barn, I use her crockery made during The Great Depression for storage.

Water
Water is perhaps the most important change. I no longer buy water in any type of container other than a can. If you missed last month’s Funnies & Foodies: Forbidding Fluoride, I shared my newest purchase of SANS water system and am purchasing their air filter for my home now. I am delighted with my SANS. I now have clean drinking water for our dogs and ourselves. I use it for cooking and for rinsing food. If you make only one change to reduce plastics, this should be it. It reduces 99.9% of microplastics among other impurities.

Textiles
Clothes is also a culprit. Most clothes are made from synthetic textiles, AKA plastics. Spandex, polyester, and nylon are all made from plastics. I have been buying organic cotton clothes whenever possible for many years. Eileen Fisher, among other designers, has an organic line that can be washed not dry cleaned, which is very unhealthy. We have an organic mattress set, pillows, mattress cover, and sheets by Omni. We also buy organic blankets and towels.

Washing
When you wash synthetic clothing and textiles, microplastics shed from the clothes into the laundry water, and onto the clothes’ surface. Studies have shown 40X the allowable limit of BPA gets released into the environment during a standard wash. Plastic Purge is a new laundry detergent that was created to help remove these harmful toxins from your wash. In the detergent, activated carbon binds, zeolite traps, and laccase enzyme to neutralizes suspected toxins. I discovered it while writing this and just ordered my first shipment.

Toys
Ditch children and pets toys made of plastic. Many dog toys have the same plastic inside as water bottles for added noise. Sadly, is difficult to find safe toys for children and pets. I start with brands made in the USA and go from there, looking carefully at the products they are made of.

Detox
A healthy, balanced diet of organic fruits, vegetables, and fiber supports overall detoxification. Foods with sulforaphane, such as broccoli and sprouts, can enhance the body's ability to process and eliminate toxins. Some antioxidants and compounds support the body's natural detoxification processes. These include glutathione, N-acetylcysteine (NAC), and Vitamin C, along with soluble fiber and algae supplements like chlorella and spirulina. Yet there is nothing that can eliminate all plastics from our bodies. Thus, we must stop adding more!

We are all in this together. Please share ideas and info on how we can survive in a plastic world without becoming plastic people. - Jan Walsh

Share

Funnies & Foodies: June 2025

Giggle: Fluoride Keeps Flowing

That Guy has had it with overzealous water servers. He like I, have not drunk fluorinated tap water in decades. And these servers with the pitchers often don’t wait until you get settled in your chair until the water starts flowing. I have learned to ask them take the water glasses away or any other servers, who see an empty glass, will also come running to fill it.

View All MAHA Toons

Gab: Is it something in the water?

That old joke proves true with fluoride.

My early years were spent on two of my grandparents’ farms. Both had well water. When I moved off the farm and had city water, it was supposed to be better. It had fluoride!

Drinking fluorinated water was supposed to reduce dental decay. Fast forward to August 2024, The National Toxicity Program released a report on all the science that now exists, which indicates that fluoride has zero systemic advantage. And it causes IQ loss in children. And it proved to be dose related. The more fluorinated water children drank the lower their IQs. Virtually all the benefit from fluoride comes in topical form, such as fluoride in toothpastes and mouthwash. “Fluoride is an industrial waste associated with arthritis, bone fractures, bone cancer, IQ loss, neurodevelopmental disorders, and thyroid disease,” explains Health and Human Services Director, RFK, Jr. He has called for a ban on fluoride in drinking water. He has teamed up with the EPA to review studies that support the removal of fluoride in our water supply. He also plans to direct the CDC to stop recommending fluoride in drinking water and to ultimately ban it. One state is not waiting on the Federal Government. Utah and Florida have banned the addition of fluoride to their drinking water. Kennedy applauds this move and is hopeful other states will follow.

Goods: Fluoride Free Water & Topicals

I started drinking bottled water while traveling abroad in the early 1990s and never stopped until I discovered a canned water that is no longer made. So, I went back to bottled water until the discovery of microplastics and nano plastics. Now I have found the perfect solution SANS Reverse Osmosis Purification System. It removes up to 99% of contaminants. This includes fluoride, heavy metals, PFAS, microplastics, and chemicals. It removes 99.9% of fluoride. I ordered the system and two extra glass pitchers, so we always have clean water to drink, washing and cooking food, making coffee and other hot beverages. It has an instant hot water feature that is handy for a cup of tea. No installation is required. It is not hooked to a water line. So, you can place it anywhere there is an electrical outlet. I placed ours beside our coffee maker on the island across from the sink. Each morning, I fill the removable tank with tap water and place it back on the SANS Water Purifier. Then I place one of the glass pitchers in place and it fills it quickly. It will also fill the other two afterwards without refilling the tank. After all these years of water challenges, I have a solution. Highly recommended! I do not receive anything for this recommendation other than the pleasure of helping my readers live healthier lives.

To learn more visit LiveSans. SANS also offers air filters that I am looking into.

As for topical fluoride, I do not use it either. I use Van Man’s Tooth Powder, The Heritage Store’s Hydrogen Peroxide Whitening Mouthwash, and Dr. Ginger’s Coconut Oil Mouthwash, and Floss. All can be easily found online.

Share

Giggle: What’s in your cereal?

BHA, BHT, GMO, Lead, Glyphosate, Arsenic are made in the USA… Genetic Engineering is imported.

View All 2025 Culinary Cartoons

Gab: Farm to Pharm

I can’t recall the first time I ever saw a box of cereal or ate a bite of it. My early childhood was split between two grandparents Blount County farms. Neither had a box of cereal in the house, although the first cold cereal was invented in 1863, Granula that led to the future development of many cereal brands. My grandmothers cooked eggs, bacon, sausage, grits, and biscuits for breakfast. Even as a teen when spending much of my time at my Granny’s house, she made me a hot bowl of Cream of Wheat, with butter for breakfast, before I left for school.

Even as an adult, I can’t recall ever having a box of cold cereal in my house until my son, Jordan begged for a box of Wheaties with Michael Jordan on it. Looking back, I see how well their marketing worked. Prior to this our quick breakfasts included a slice of toast, cheese toast, peanut butter toast, grits, oatmeal, or Cream of Wheat, although I mashed banana into Jordan’s with a sprinkle of sugar to make it more kid friendly.

Currently Now, the U.S. has more than 10,000+ approved food ingredients, whereas Europe has 400. These chemicals were grandfathered in as 'GRAS' (Generally Recognized as Safe) without ANY safety testing decades ago. “In the U.S., chemicals are never safety tested before being added to food,” JFK, JR warns. Some are petroleum-based. And others that are imported to our market are genetically engineered! “These chemicals hijack the brain and trick the body into eating more food while getting less nutrition.” The result has been a historic health collapse. “We are now the fourth most obese country in the world,” Kennedy said, “yet for the first time in history, obesity is often accompanied by malnutrition. “The people who are most obese are also malnourished. That’s never been seen before in human history.” READ LABELS before buying!

Goods: Hot Cereals & Bread

I, much like Kennedy, have changed my diet to include a lot of protein, especially for breakfast, such as a boiled egg and a slice of bacon. I started this a few months ago when I also ditched seed oils of all types, resulting in a loss of 25 pounds.

As always there is not a box of cold cereal in my pantry. In the fridge there are old blue Ball Jars filled with McEwen and Sons Organic White Grits and Bob's Red Mill Organic Creamy White Wheat Farina Hot Cereal, the healthier version of creamed wheat. And in the pantry is McCann’s Non-GMO Steel Cut Irish Oatmeal for Kev. And we often have breads from Birmingham Breadworks for varieties of toast along with their farm eggs. These breads are made with flour, salt, and water. I read every label of everything before buying. And I search organic, one or few ingredient products.

Share

Giggle: In Plain Sight

That Guy has been sky watching for years. So, he and Dearie are prepared for the shower of chemicals. But the chemtrail deniers do not fare so well. 

View all “That Guy!” toons at CulinaryCartoons.com.

Gab: Truth of Theory?

I relate to “That Guy” in this toon. I have been called a conspiracy theorist both to my face and whispers behind my back for years… because I refused to eat GMOs, drink fluorinated water, take vaccines, wear masks, and walk in chem rains. When you take an unpopular stance, it wakes some people to do their own research to make an informed decision. Yet many others reject you until it proves to be true. Then they ask, “How did you know… why didn’t you tell me?” Well, maybe I did. But you were reading MSM while holding your hands over your ears and mumbling “that’s a debunked conspiracy theory.”

When I became a teenager, my bedroom was redecorated in a posh, French style that someone chose for me. A bit over the top… So, I covered my walls in posters that were an expression of me. One depicted an airplane, flying in the sky (with contrails coming from the back of it) above a quote by Henry David Thoreau: “Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste the sky as well as the earth.” I also had a small sign above the inside of my door that read, “What the hell are you looking up here for?” I had and still have a mind in search of the truth, the heart of a poet, and a slap stick sense of humor.

Wake up, normies, geoengineering is real! If you look up, rather than down at your phones, you might be surprised at a sky that no longer looks like the blue one we grew up with. I have been looking for many years. And I know the difference between contrails that quickly dissipate and chemtrails that do not. Once it became obvious to anyone, including myself, who believes their own eyes that these tic tac toe trails that overlap and lead to white out are not caused by contrails, a nice name for them was created likely by a marketing or PR firm, “Cloud Seeding.” Does Stratospheric Aerosol Injection (SAI) and Cloud Seeding really include more than 49 chemicals, neurotoxins, and heavy metals as some report? Even worse, most recently, fallout from a chemtrail was collected, incubated, and is growing, live unknown structures. Nanotechnologies? Whatever it is that is going up into our sky and clouds is coming down in the air we breathe, the water we drink, and the food being grown.

Tennessee was the first state to ban geoengineering. Their bill prohibits the “intentional injection, release or dispersion” of chemicals into the atmosphere for the “express purpose of affecting temperature, weather, or the intensity of the sunlight.” The bill also claims that “it is documented that the federal government” or those working on its behalf can “conduct geoengineering experiments by intentionally dispersing chemicals into the atmosphere.” Obviously unless bordering states pass the same the winds will blow them over the state. Yet many states are following Tennessee’s lead.

While states are working on bans, Director of U.S. Health and Human Services, Robert Kennedy, Jr. tweeted that he would “stop this crime.” And he is now developing a Geoengineering Task Force to investigate chemtrails. Please hurry! We need the truth to be disclosed, and whatever it is needs to stop. Now is the time to protect not just our earth, but our sun and skies and bring justice to those who are causing harm. Environmental Protection Agency Administrator, Lee Zeldin is questioning a company, Make Sunsets, that sends sulfur dioxide into the air for profit to provide detailed information on its practices. It is one among many companies, groups, and governments involved in geoengineering. In the United Kingdom, Advanced Research and Invention Agency (Aria) Kingdom are laying waste to $66 million, with plans to inject aerosolized particles into the stratosphere to dim the sun, to fight “global warming.”

And just like that my friends, I have run out of conspiracy theories.

“Journalism is printing something that someone does not want printed. Everything else is public relations.” - George Orwell

Goods: Metal Detoxing

A diet high in fiber helps excrete heavy metals. And hydration helps flush toxins through the kidneys. Specifically, apples. pears, garlic, cilantro, and kombu seaweed aid in eliminating metals. Activated Charcoal binds to heavy metals in the gut for safe removal. It is available as a supplement and found in other products, such as the activated charcoal toothpaste I use. Do your own research to find more and to consider supplements, such as Vitamin C and B1. And simply working up a sweat can assist in removing metals stored in fat tissues. - Jan Walsh

Share

Giggle: “May you eejits outlive the coming ban on green food D-I-E!”

That Guy and Dearie celebrate St. Patrick's Day at their neighborhood Irish Pub, where everyone else was enjoying green beer and shots until his Irish toast.

View All That Guy at Culinary Cartoons

Gab: More Than Beer

Adding artificial green food dyes to your beer for St. Patrick’s Day is not Irish and not a good practice. Irish prefer an Irish stout. And ingesting green food dyes, especially Fast Green FCF have side effects of allergies and skin reactions. Fast Green FCF may be listed as FD&C Green No. 3, Food Green 3, or E143. Meanwhile, Green S could be referred to as E142.

Yet it is not just green beer that contains green food dyes. Any food or beverage that has a green color may have artificial, green, food dyes including but not limited to cereal, gelatin, snacks, salad dressings, ice cream, popsicles, frostings, sports drinks, and juices. Read all labels and country of origin!

Goods: Matcha Beer

If you are determined to make green beer for St. Patrick’s Day, use Matcha. This green tea is good for you! Grab an old school, wide mouthed beer mug and a blonde beer. Add one teaspoon of this green tea to the bottom of your beer mug. Add a few tablespoons of beer, whisk until dissolved. We Southerners know how to do this… like adding sugar to your iced tea. It takes a bit of stirring. Once dissolved, add the remaining beer to the mug. The result will be a beer that is olive green in color with a hint of vegetable note. Matcha can be purchased at your local Piggly Wiggly.

JanWalsh.com

Giggle: “Chef La-de-Dah’s fancy chocolate is laced with lead!”

That Guy and Dearie sign up for a chocolate cooking class with Francois. Meanwhile TG reads in the newspaper that chocolate contains lead! So, he grabs his metal detector, which he uses at the beach to find other people’s lost jewelry, and brings it to class to fact check the news. No one signed up for this! Attendees are shocked at the news and begin to trash the chocolate. A run on the tip jar is just getting started. And Dearie is left with a mouthful of lead! Poor, Francois.

View and Shop all my toons at Culinary Cartoons

Gab: Apparently, lead in chocolate is old news.

Lead contamination of chocolates was first discovered in 1820, when a British study found the poison widespread in London confectionary products. But it is news to me. I thought dark chocolate was good for my heart.

What is the source(s) of these heavy metals? Some of the lead occurs in post-harvest of the cacao when the beans are fermenting and air drying. If they are dried on the ground, they may absorb lead from the ground. But most of the contamination occurs during the shipping and processing phase.

Researching further I read more about the lead and cadmium are found in dark chocolate. And until now I never heard of cadmium, which is a metal found in zinc ores. Yet I quickly learned that cadmium is a toxic metal that can cause cancer, as well as damage the kidneys, lungs, and brain.

Consumer Reports found dangerous heavy metals in Hershey’s Theo, Trader Joe’s, and other popular brands.In fact, Consumer Reports researchers detected heavy metals, lead and cadmium in all 28 dark chocolate bars they studied. Long term, consistent exposure to lead is a health risk for everyone. Yet the risks are greater for pregnant women and children. Lead can cause developmental delays and affect brain development in children, resulting in a lower IQ. Unbelievably the U.S does not limit the amount of lead or cadmium allowed in food products.

Goods: What is the safest chocolate tested?

The lowest amounts of heavy metals among the 28 bars tested is MAST, which is 14 percent lead and 40 percent cadmium. So, if you must, buy MAST. Milk chocolate also has the same leads but less than dark chocolate.

Sadly, one of my favorite things in life is now a health risk. Hold the chocolate. Flowers for Valentine’s Day!

Share