Grow Your Own
Funnies & Foodies: July 2026
Giggles: Throwing Dust in Neighbors’ Eyes
That Guy is done with supermarket and farmers market tomatoes. He gave up on store bought tomatoes years ago. Their out of state tomatoes are hard as a rock, like in that old Tomatoland book he read. So, he began buying from a couple of trusted local growers at the local farmers market until now. They both began to CHILL their tomatoes before bringing them to market. TG’s grandfathers were farmers, and both taught him, “Never chill a tomato.” He knows how to grow heirloom tomatoes from heirloom seeds. But he is too lazy and entitled. So, he leads his neighbors up his garden path and bamboozles them into growing it as a “community garden.” They do all the work. Deary does all the cooking. And TG does all the eating!
View all “That Guy!” toons at Culinary Cartoons
Gab: Community or Solo Garden?
I did help grow a family garden once. And I see why families and communities grow gardens together. Because it is too much work for one person, even if all goes fairly well. I recently learned this lesson again when a friend (and reader) of mine, Lindsey Ruffino gave up buying and wanted to grow her own garden. It was not her first garden but it had been years.
When Lindsey does something, she does it right and gives it her all. So, I knew it would be a great summer Birmingham Foodies Gab and Clean Cooking feature. She bought a greenhouse and germinated all the plants from seeds. She sent me video updates of her butter beans, peas, basil, lettuces, tomatoes, jalapenos, okra, squash and onions growing in the greenhouse and videos later of them in the garden. Two days before my scheduled garden visit and interview, heavy rains caused a flood in Vestavia. And just like that her garden was washed away! I just checked in on her to see if she will ever grow another garden. And she is already building it back. And we will reschedule her garden feature later.
Gastro: Garden Favorite - Heirloom Tomatoes
I am a tomato snob. I admit it. If I had to choose one fruit that I could have in season—all the time—it would be tomatoes. And it would be heirloom tomatoes of all shapes, sizes, colors, and flavors.
Like That Guy, I was taught by my grandfathers, who were farmers, “Never chill a tomato.” I never have and never will. And I taught my sons, “Never chill a tomato!” Note the exclamation. I would rather find a dead body on the kitchen floor than a tomato in the fridge. So, I made up a new rule to pass down. “If you cut the tomato, you eat the (whole) tomato.”
Chilling a tomato below 50°F stops the ripening, breaks down cell walls and deactivates the enzymes in tomatoes that produce the flavor compounds. Rather than juicy the tomatoes turn mealy. Rather than flavorful, they turn tasteless. And you cannot reverse this process by taking them out of the fridge. Store them at room temperature. I finish ripening in my kitchen window in direct sunlight. Once they fully ripen, I hide them in kitchen drawers away from the light. Stem-side up or down? Stem side down for unripe and stem side up for ripe tomatoes, which reduces exposure to bacteria and mold. If there ever came a time that I can’t eat all the fully ripe tomatoes, rather than chilling I would make soups, stews, or tomato sauce.
How can some tomatoes look so red and taste so awful? The same mutation that makes tomatoes red also ruins a tomato’s historic taste and texture. Heirloom tomatoes do not have the genetic mutation that gives tomatoes a uniform red color. And unlike the seeds of hybridized plants, Heirloom seeds “breed true.” Both sides of an heirloom variety’s DNA are derived from a stable cultivar, whereas hybridized seeds combine different cultivars. So unlike thick skinned, mealy grocery store tomatoes, heirloom skins are thin, bruise and crack easily, and shelf life is shorter.
Unfortunately, previously chilled tomatoes, including heirlooms, are sold to unsuspecting buyers even at farmers markets. Don’t trust the “Don’t Touch” signs. Sorry, but I want to feel it before I buy it. I especially want to feel the temperature. Even if it is not cold, it might have warmed on the way or while on display. I also look for small surface indentions in the skin, especially around the stem. Instead, the skin should be smooth, taunt skin. Early chilling before ripening is also evident in uneven ripening with uneven coloring. Thus, I have also learned to ask if the tomatoes have been chilled below 50 degrees.
Like animals, plants can also become extinct. Fortunately, heirloom seeds can be collected. And because heirloom tomatoes self-pollinate, the plants grown from these seeds will continue to show traits of the original seed. Thus, heirloom varieties have been in cultivation for generations, with each generation saving and passing down seeds to the next generation.
All your heirloom tomatoes need are sea salt and ground black pepper. But they can be an important part of many recipes, such as Clean Cooking’s Crab & Shrimp Louie Salad. Get Recipe - Jan Walsh
